[Ghandaiah] Greetings, PDX viewers. It's me again, with the second official Interview-of-the-Week. Now, I know what you're going to say: "But oh Supreme Lord Ghandaiah, it's been well over a week since the last interview." Indeed, it has, and things have been busy (and when I say busy I mean not busy). But I'm here now, with some guy named Slicer, I don't know who he is either, just some weirdo that approached me on the street. [Ghandaiah] Say hello to the viewers, Slicer. =P
[Slicer] Hello my precious viewers.
[Ghandaiah] So here goes, without further ado, let's begin Interview-of-the-almost-okay-not-really-Week #2. [Ghandaiah] *ahem*
*uncomfortable pause*
[Slicer] ...
[Ghandaiah] So, Slicer, tell us... who are you, and why are you here?
[Slicer] I is... sorry *ahem*, I, slicer am the Leader of the Feared DEA clan! I rule the world of Deus Ex MP Conspiracy. I am here to look after my lil' servers by Gamespy and NGUK.
[Ghandaiah] Great! So how are the servers, anyway? Growing teeth yet?
[Slicer] Yes, they are fine! I spend more time on them than hunting down the triads in Hong Kong. They are growing nicely, I see a couple of tooths growing :) Occassional glitch of GPFs when they need to refresh themselves.
[Ghandaiah] Right. So, Slicer... do you actually PLAY on your servers? Hmm? Or do you just WATCH them?
[Slicer] Of course I play! I need to look after them inside out! I watch them 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, 365.25 days a year! I am their source of survival, without me, they will cry.
[Ghandaiah] Is there a lot of diaper changing involved? ...Maybe that's just me.
[Slicer] Errr... not really, they need it when refreshing themselves. A difficult job...
[Ghandaiah] ...never mind... [Ghandaiah] 365.25 days a year? Where'd YOU go to school?
[Slicer] Ah, yes 365.25 days a year, I hired babysitters, one called BigCountry, another called ApocolypseNOW and the final one called OldGrandad to assist me when I need to leave for a while.
[Ghandaiah] Mmhmm. [Ghandaiah] Many lamers on your servers?
[Slicer] We have a few lamers, I is one of them! :)
[Ghandaiah] You're a lamer? ... LIAR! [Ghandaiah] What's your favorite color?
[Slicer] I like blue.
[Ghandaiah] NO! LIAR! [Ghandaiah] Favorite food?
[Slicer] Cookies.
[Ghandaiah]WRONG AGAIN! [Ghandaiah] I like salami. You like salami?
[Slicer] ??? Me don't like salami !!!
[Ghandaiah] Oh.
[Slicer] Mr. T doesn't like it, and I'm under his influence!
[Ghandaiah] Fine. How are the kids, slice?
[Slicer] :) The kids are fine, well looked after. :)
[Ghandaiah] ...are we talking about servers, or people?
[Slicer] Servers. I'm too young for people.
[Ghandaiah] Oh. How old are you, slicer?
[Slicer] 18 years 8 months 2 days 16 hours 38 minutes and 30 seconds exactly!
[Ghandaiah] Mmhmm. Know how old I am?
[Slicer] My guess is 24.
[Ghandaiah] Well that's very stupid. [Ghandaiah] How are the kids, slice? [Ghandaiah] ...Wait, I asked that already. [Ghandaiah] ...Damn!
*uncomfortable pause*
[Slicer] Mr. Interviewer, I think Mr. T will be annoyed by waiting too long for me in his van.
[Ghandaiah] So, getting back to Deus Ex... You know, I've never played Deus Ex Multiplayer.
[Slicer] Why would that be?
[Ghandaiah] Not even once.
[Slicer] That is strange! Deus Ex Multiplayer is the most entertaining feature in life, you can't have missed it.
[Ghandaiah] Why? Well, simple, Slicer. It's your kids. They're SLOW. [Ghandaiah] Actually, it's my modem.
[Slicer] My kids are very fast!
[Ghandaiah] Probably. I wouldn't know.
[Slicer] So, what modem do you have? [Slicer] Hang on. You are asking the questions!
[Ghandaiah] YEAH. YOU DON'T ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE, MISTER.
[Slicer] Sir, Yes SIR!
[Ghandaiah] Muffins. You eat many muffins, slicer?
[Slicer] I eat a lot, but choked last night and nearly passed away!
[Ghandaiah] You choked on a muffin? [Ghandaiah]LIAR! [Ghandaiah] THAT, SIR, IS IMPOSSIBLE, BECAUSE YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO MUFFINS!
[Ghandaiah] Frogs? [Ghandaiah] You're confusing me, Kenny. [Ghandaiah] Can I call you Kenny?
[Slicer] Yes you can. Would you like a picture to accompany?
[Ghandaiah] No thank you. [Ghandaiah] What's the best map? The best DXMP map. In your opinion.
[Slicer] I would say: Released - Skyline | Beta Test - Hells Gate
[Ghandaiah] Are those popular maps with your kids?
[Slicer] My kids love them, but are not permitted to use them as they are not mature! [Slicer] ...sufficiently mature.
[Ghandaiah] ...we're talking servers, right?
[Slicer] Yes... the specs are a bit low...
[Ghandaiah] Okay, Kenny. [Ghandaiah] How many people do you usually see on your servers? What's the most you've seen at once?
[Slicer] They are always full, 12 out of 12.
[Ghandaiah] WOW! No kidding.
[Slicer] No kidding.
[Ghandaiah] Nooooo kidding.
*uncomfortable pause*
[Ghandaiah] Ever seen anybody with a really hilarious multiplayer nick? Like, uh... I saw one guy... His name was "GorillaBiscuit".
[Slicer] Ah, there are many.
[Ghandaiah] Many, Kenny? Are there really that many?
[Slicer] Well, some are rather explicit.
[Ghandaiah] Well that's good. [Ghandaiah] Or bad. [Ghandaiah] Whatever.
[Slicer] I'd rather not state them as there may be children out there reading this!
[Ghandaiah] Uh huh. [Ghandaiah] I have to go home now, Kenny. We have to end the interview.
[Slicer] OK.
[Ghandaiah] This nonsense has gone on long enough.
[Slicer] Thank you for your time Mr. Interviewer.
[Ghandaiah] Your LIES have gone on long enough. [Ghandaiah] ...
[Slicer] Yep, and Mr. T is waiting outside, can you not hear him horning the van.
[Ghandaiah] So remember, people. Slicer is the father of the Gamespy DXMP servers, so pay him a visit. Log on, say hi, cap dat aZZ y0. Whatever. [Ghandaiah] Horning the van? [Ghandaiah] How do you horn a van, Kenny?
[Slicer] You smash the horn.
[Ghandaiah] YOU CAN'T SAY "BUTT" ON THIS SITE!
[Slicer] Uhm...?
[Ghandaiah] Never mind. [Ghandaiah] Okay, Deus Ex community. See you around. [Ghandaiah] Say goodbye to the nice people, Kenny.
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