Sniper scope is so wobbly… it's like a lava lamp…. eeeeeeeeeee…

Er… yes… Grenade climbing! How fun it is! Now I bet some of you are wondering “Hey! Whut teh heck r grenade climbing you f00?!” (Don’t try to hide it. I know you think in poor sentence structure!) And my answer is “Why didn’t you think of that question before? I mean it's what the entire article is about and you are just NOW wondering?” Of course then I would go into a long speech which would result in you losing some brain cells… all in all it's obviously been done before so I’m not going to go through THAT again… Poor Ghand… he used to be so intelligent before I repeatedly told him the Albuquerque story… Now he stole my crouton flavored cheese. I want that back! Don’t think that just by staying off IRC you can avoid me! The swiss cheese cam was just a decoy! I have cheese cams in your croutons too!!!! Mwahahahaha what? Oh sorry.
Grenade climbing! I shall now tell you what it is! You take a grenade and stick it to a wall. Then you step on it and put another one on the wall. You step on that one and – NOT ON THE BUTTON!!! MOVE AWAY FROM THE BUTTON! Okay, okay, just listen to me! Get off the grenade slowl- ack… okay… now you’re going to have to press the quickload key… Okay… on second thought… just watch in awe as I grenade climb.
As I was saying, I climbed the Statue of Liberty!!!! Yeah…
It's really windy up here and stuff… There are some pigeons… and pigeon crap… LOTS of pigeon crap… And lots of sharp pointy objects on which to impale myself if I were ever to fall from the ledge on which I am precariously perched… Ah there’s that vertigo! Um… and there is an Easter Egg up here. Yeah… It's really cool with some uh… gold…? And uh… toilets? With um… Max Chen for no apparent reason… and a secret door that advertises for um… Soldier of Fortune…? And uh… secret never before seen blueprints of the plot for DX2! Yeah, that’s it… What? Well no… okay… so I couldn’t get to the top…
But I was pretty darn close!!! Well… actually… no… But I didn’t use any stairs! I used grenades! Gas Grenades!

The Grenade Climbing Mastah recommends Gas Grenades for all of your grenade climbing endeavors!
Whee!! Now the text is all squishy and stuff! See It looks like I’m writing a lot which makes you people happy, but actually, hardly any thought process went into that tiny little gap… Wait… was that out loud?
Er… What I meant to say was that my first and utmost concern is pleasing j00, teh unwashed masses general public. Aha! Now that I’m out of the little crevice there I can now fill the page with more unnecessary pictures that I foresee using many many many many times… Like this one!

This is teh evil ledge that would not let me get up to the actual statue… It was slanted at such an evil curve that I was forced to whack it profusely with my baton until it cried like a little girly man… Oh wait… that was me… ne’ermind.
So uh… yeah… you should send me mail. Send it to oinutter1@attbi.com that would make me very happy… If you are feeling perverse and would rather see me sad, then send me mail anyway. Don’t make me threaten to kil yer hed. I have a girly-man baton, remember? Send me comments, questions, anything you want published. And if you want to threaten me, send it to feedback@forumplanet.com heheh goodluck getting a response! Oh. Um… disregard that last sentence… there is a rather large man here. He is threatening urging me not to write that.

Hee! I have a surprise for j00 all! I have a letter in my non-existant mailbag! Oh my, I wonder how it got here! I must be just that kind of good! Hey! Stop thinking about it! Don’t overanalyze! NO CONCLUSIONS FROM YOU!!!! This message is from someone named NOTOiNutter. What a coincidence! I have “OiNutter” in my name! Actually it is my name… Anyway, he writes:

Hey, I just wanted to comment on how freaking good looking you are! If I was a woman I would be so attracted that my innards would eat themselves. But that’s only because of a rare genetic condition. I just wanted to say that I tried grenade climbing once and would like to share my story! Would you allow that?

No.

Join me next month for another issue of wonderful Nade Climbin Goodness (NCG) and a contest unless Despot, Ghand, Microsoft, and Pete the pigeon kill me.

Here’s where I give props to Gus, King Kashue, Despot, and all others who thought that my grenade climbing and writing capabilities were so horrible that it would be slightly humorous and exploitable… Be careful with them props… they’re mad…

Now where did my pants go?