Fan Fiction
The following piece of fanfic poetry is by Nice-But-Dim and was submitted March 2001.
If you've got a piece of fanfic of your own, then submit it to us.
Untitled
It all started at the docks where fishers caught some cod,
And I was merely armed with a pistol and a prod.
So I did everything I was originally asked to do,
And then before you know it... Yay, Mission Two!
But when the mission was done, something surreal was going on,
I saw someone talking to my boss, whoose name was Walton.
And then I knew that Paul had got the sack,
But I never really had much time to counteract.
So off I went and started good ol' mission three,
And this was the time when I REALLY needed to pee.
But soon to my suprise, my brother had now turned bad,
So you could really understand why I was so mad.
I met his leader and my face was all red,
So I loaded my pistol and shot him on the head.
So next I was to go to Hong Kong,
Or so I thought, and I was so wrong.
I had realised my brother had just been hit,
After saying, "What, ya git?"
He said UNATCO were the baddies in the fight,
Then I had said, "Phft! Yeah, right!"
However, it had turned out this was true,
I was begining to think I had oughta sue!
However, I was caught, and bro was killed.
And when I heard this news... I WAS THRILLED! :)
And then some hacker contacted me,
And opened the door, politely, see?
So I escaped and went to Hong Kong,
Where I met a bloke called Tracer Tong.
And he deactivated my killswitch,
That, I'll admit, made me twitch.
However, I had to do "favours" for him,
And chances of survival were pretty slim.
But luckily, I managed to do what he asked,
And so I exited the country fast.
I was asked to blow up a bloody big ship,
So it would take a little dip.
I did, however, manage to escape,
Running like a vacinated ape.
So then I went to the city of Paris,
Where a couple o' people looked like Rolf Harris.
I was to meet a person called Morgan Everette,
And I was about to go, "Ah, just stuff it!"
Apparantly, I could contact him a chateu,
But it was unlikely I would have wanted to.
But then I met Nicolette DuClare,
And she said she could take me there.
And so she did, and I contacted the guy,
I was given another mission. (SIGH)
So reload after reload, I finally did it,
And I then payed Morgan a little visit.
I had to go to X-51,
To save some AI from being overrun.
However it merged with the bad AI,
And this moment made me really want to cry.
So to Area 51, I quickly made a cut,
To kick some evil Bob Page butt.
He tried to convince me, but it didn't work.
His hairy arse was to go bezerk.
I blew up Area 51,
And boy was it a lot of fun!
However, the problem is I wasn't too fast,
And unfortunately, I got killed in the blast.
But hang on! Then how can I be writing this?
What the - oh, damn. I just had a piss...
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